Alone in this Room with You
by eggsaladstain
Summary: This whole time, they thought she needed to be protected from him, but it's really he who needs to be protected, from her.
1. I

_Don't let me do this to you,  
__you are not those other people,  
__you are yourself_

_…_

_This is not a house, there are no doors,  
__get out while it is  
__open, while you still can_

"Hesitations outside the door" – Margaret Atwood

* * *

**Alone in this Room with You**

I.

There are chains around the door.

A metal noose, they wrap around and around the bars, but they feel like they're around her neck instead. She's having trouble breathing.

She exhales and the sound echoes in her ears. Was it a breath or a scream?

There are chains around the door, but it's not a door – it's a prison.

…

_You didn't think about the price Vincent would pay_.

His face is obscured by shadows, but she can still make out the scar on his cheek. That was the price of something else. This time, the price is his freedom. Somehow, he's always the one who ends up paying.

She comes to the edge of his cell and kneels down next to him. He's sitting on the floor and she wonders how long he's been there. Hours? Days?

She was always afraid that he would wind up behind bars. She was always afraid that she might have to be the one to put him there. He's in one now, but it's his own doing. He's a better person than she is.

_I am getting you out of here_, she says, but what she really means is, _I'm sorry._

He trusted her to do the right thing, to prevent things from going too far. Instead, she did what she never wanted to do – she let him down.

She let him down because she forgot what he's capable of. She let him down because she was selfish.

She's been so selfish lately, or maybe she always has been. At least, where Vincent is concerned, it seems all she does is take and take and take. He gives her answers, he gives her so many lives saved. And in return, he gets blood on his hands and a cold prison cell.

_You shouldn't be here,_ he says, and she wants to laugh, because from the first day they met, everything was _shouldn't._ She shouldn't, and he shouldn't, and they shouldn't, but they did anyways and now look where they are.

A sliver of light hits his face and he looks so lonely, so _broken_. She wants to reach out and touch him, but she's not sure she has that right anymore.

Maybe she never did.

…

_It's you_, he says, and she wishes she could have heard those words in a different time, in a different place.

_It's you_, he says, but what she really hears is, _it's your fault_.

She wanted to be something to him, but not this. Never this.

She places her hand around the bar. It's cold against her skin - is this what he feels like right now?

He turns towards her and there's an ocean in his eyes. When she looks into them, she sees him drowning. She wants to reach out, save him, but then he blinks and it's too late. He's already gone.

This whole time, they thought she needed to be protected from him, but it's really_ he_ who needs to be protected, from _her_.

...

There are chains around the door.

They keep him in.

They keep her out.


	2. II

_Should we go into it_  
_together / if I go into it_  
_with you I will never come out_

_..._

_but you will go_  
_alone, either_  
_way is loss_

_Tell me what it is for_

_In the room we will find nothing_  
_In the room we will find each other_

"Hesitations outside the door" - Margaret Atwood

* * *

**Alone in this Room with You**

II.

There are chains around the door.

A metal leash, they wrap around and around the bars, but they feel like they're around his neck instead. He's having trouble breathing.

He exhales and the sound echoes in his ears. Was it a breath or a growl?

There are chains around the door, but it's not a door – it's a cage.

...

He hears her coming before he sees her, her footsteps are slow and steady across the floor. He's memorized that sound by now - it sounds like a heartbeat.

The doors open, but he doesn't want to see her. He doesn't want her to see him like this. Then again, she was always good at seeing him when he didn't want to be seen.

A gasp reaches his ears, so soft he almost misses it, and he feels her come closer. The bars of his cage separate them, and she's right on the other side, but there's another distance in between them, an ocean, and he's going under, he's drowning. He lifts his face and focuses on her. Her eyes are so bright, and he can feel her pulling him out of the waters. He looks into her eyes and feels her guiding him home.

She kneels down by his side and makes him a promise -_ I am going to get you out of here_ - but it's a promise he can't let her keep. He's dangerous, and, out of control like he is now, he's a threat.

But Catherine doesn't see him as a threat because she trusts him, because she believes in him. She took a chance on him and he did the one thing he never wanted to do - he let her down.

He let her down because as much as he wants to, he can't be the man she wants him to be. He's not even a man, is he, not with everything he's capable of. Until a few nights ago, she had never seen what he's really capable of. Now she'll never forget.

Light from the window touches her face and she looks pale. Fragile. It's a reminder that she's human, that he's not. She made him feel like he had a life again, but now he knows it's a life he can never have.

This cage, this is where he belongs.

...

_It's you_, he says, and he wishes he could have said those words to her in a different time, in a different place.

_It's you_, he says, and he hopes she hears what he really means,_ I wish it weren't_.

He wanted to have something with her, but not this. Never this.

She moves closer to the bars, and he sees a look on her face that threatens to undo him. She exhales a shaky breath, and it's more than he can bear. He looks down at his hands. He may have washed them, but there's still blood on his hands. There will always be blood on his hands.

He turns away from her and tries to ignore the sound of her heartbeat.

This is how he'll protect her, from himself.

...

There are chains around the door.

They keep her out.

They keep him in.

...

_Fin_


End file.
